When the Kids Leave, You Don’t Disappear...
So… the kids left.
And suddenly, the house is quiet. Dyzio moved to his dad’s to start high school. Melo is building her university life. And somehow, we’ve reached this strange, beautiful moment where each of us is starting a new chapter, and each of us is living in a different country.
If you had told me years ago that this would be our reality, I probably wouldn’t have believed you. Same about living in Turkey, or get divorced ...
But here we are.
And you know what?
I’m actually excited.
Of course I will miss them. Of course there are moments when the silence feels enormous. There are days when I catch myself thinking, “Wait… awsome:) home for myslef :) no waking up for school..."
But maybe that’s exactly the point.
For years, our lives revolved around the kids. School runs, sports, homework, meals, doctors, schedules, teenage drama, holidays, logistics… all the beautiful chaos that comes with being a mum.
And now?
The chaos is changing.
My life isn’t ending. It’s expanding.
I have more time for myself again.
Time for tennis.Time for old and new projects.Time to create.Time to travel.Time to meet new people.Time to discover new places.Time to ask myself what I actually want.
And I’m beginning to understand something that I wish more mothers talked about:
Your children growing up doesn’t mean your role as a mother disappears.
It changes.
I will still visit them. I will still be there when they need me. We will share the care, especially when I need to be with Dyzio while his dad is travelling for work.
I will still worry.
I will still give advice they didn’t ask for. I will still probably send too many messages.
But I don't have to hold their entire world anymore.
They are building their own.
And I get to build mine.
And maybe this is the most beautiful part.
After divorce, we somehow managed to create something I’m incredibly proud of.
Our kids have a great relationship with both of us. Their dad and I have learned to cooperate, communicate and put the kids first.
We didn't do everything perfectly.
But we did something pretty damn good.
We stayed a family.
Just a different kind of family.
A family spread across countries. A family with different homes, different schedules and new chapters. A family that doesn't look like the picture we once imagined but somehow works. And photos of US are still great :)
And honestly?
I highly recommend it.
Because life is unpredictable.
We spend so much time trying to plan it, control it, make sure everything goes according to the picture in our heads. And then life comes along and says:
"Nope. I have another plan."
So kids are growing up.They are leaving home.They are creating their own lives.
And I am creating mine.
Not instead of being their mum.
Because I am their mum.
But because I am also me.
And maybe this is the next chapter of my own mess.
A little quieter.
A little freer.
A little brave.
And hopefully… a lot of fun.
So if you are a mum whose children are getting ready to leave the nest, I want you to know this:
You are allowed to miss them.
You are allowed to cry.
You are allowed to feel completely lost for a while.
But you are also allowed to be excited.
You are allowed to fall in love with your own life again.
Because when your children leave…you don't disappear. You rise with them!
You get to discover who you are when you're no longer needed every minute of every day.
And maybe that woman has been waiting for you for a very long time.
Welcome to my next chapter.
Same mess. New life. ❤️
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